For every girl out there, whose ever been made fun of.

 

I love this photo. It makes me smile because in this moment I was so brave and literally laughing while being made fun of-no fear and just laughing at some random haters on the streets of San Diego. I was already laughing with my sister, because, let’s face it, it’s a bit awkward trying to direct a photo that you’re in and tell someone who doesn’t generally take photos what to do with a camera etc, while already feeling awkward taking a photo in the middle of one of the trendiest, coolest areas of San Diego. You get it, it took some balls to begin with.

Here’s what happened.

I was out and about shooting content for my website after a blogger meet up and my lovely sister came with to be my photographer for the day. There I was, already fighting to be confident and all I was trying to do was take a photo, nothing crazy. I wasn’t naked with a boob hanging out or anything. Just minding my own business and taking some photos. But for whatever reason, two grown ass adults- in their thirties, a married couple, nonetheless, were literally pointing and laughing at me as my sister snapped photos of me.

Immediately the thoughts came rushing in, why am I doing this? Who do I think I am? They wouldn’t be laughing at me if I wasn’t a size, blah blah…You know the lies right?

But then, just for a second, as soon as those feelings were starting to show up and I began doubting myself and hearing that mean, doubtful voice in my head, I had a moment of clarity. A real visceral light bulb moment, you know? It punched me right in the gut.

 

But, then I just really started laughing.

 

Laughing at the situation. Laughing that for one minute, I was going to let someone else make me feel less than, and laughing that I conquered those mean thoughts in that moment. Laughing because for the first time in my life, I literally felt free from what others think and say about me. Laughing because it was all just so easy.

 

I was so liberated, I took things a step further.

 

I asked the girl laughing at me if she would like a photo in my spot with 100% complete genuine intention, no hostility. And of course, that stopped that. I disarmed my hater with kindness, even though she didn’t deserve it, but holding on to any anger wouldn’t really serve me right? Especially in this moment when I was actively facing my fears head on.

The thing is, in my moment of clarity, and what made me laugh so hard-which then made my sister start to laugh, was that I knew on some level, this chic wanted to do exactly what I was doing, but she too was suffering from some sort of internal struggle of confidence. It was just coming out all wrong.

However, I think it’s mean to point at anyone in public and make fun of them no matter what, but the moment of clarity was about the realization that there is literally NO REASON to worry about what others think about you, because no matter what, people will have something to say and it’s not about you really.

 

 

I’m still a work in progress.

This one situation didn’t suddenly cure my doubts and low self confidence, I’m human after all,  but it did give me a positive experience to reference back to in other times when I am feeling self-conscious. It will help me remember that whatever they were saying about me, whatever it was that they were doing to make themselves feel better literally doesn’t matter and I can show up in the world in whatever way I want to. I don’t have to make myself feel small, I don’t have to think terrible things about myself because other people wish they could be me! Haha, ok, I don’t think the girl wanted to be me, I just say that because once we walked away, a few moments later, there she was asking her husband to take a photo of herself. But this proves my point!

 

I just want to speak into you, that very little of what others say or think about you, is truly about you. It’s really just that simple. But that’s not to say we live in bubbles right? We will always encounter people who judge us, try and hurt us, and maybe even point and laugh and make fun of us, but we don’t have to let them in our heads, or hearts. Instead, just laugh in their faces because you’re doing you and that takes bravery and guts.

My intention with writing this post and being vulnerable, is to not get any sympathy, but to share a real experience. If I share my struggles with fear and share how I was able to get out of my own head and even if for a second, let go of all the terrible lies that I sometimes believe about myself,  that means that for you, the one reading this, it might help you do the same. I know we’re not all perfect. I know that as women, we struggle with self confidence, no matter how beautiful, successful, or how “skinny” we are. We struggle to sometimes do certain things, or be who we really are on the inside.

I sincerely hope that by sharing this experience with you, that you consider doing that thing anyways. Do that thing that makes you feel uncomfortable, but you know will also, make you feel free. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I’m always telling myself, “do things that make you feel naked.” LOL, ok that’s a bit weird, but  I am, just a little bit and I don’t care, because that’s how I know I’m getting out of my comfort zone.

So friend, please learn to laugh at your fear and your haters! Even if it’s just for a moment. You will remember that invigorating feeling when you look your fear or hater in the eye and mentally give them the finger, then just smile and keep going after your dreams.

XOXO,

Cristin